That Time You Trusted Yourself

shirtThis is a photo of a top I purchased in 2007 while visiting my grandmother in Florida. We were at Loehmann’s, which was a little bit too posh for my grandmother—she preferred to do her discount shopping at TJ Maxx. Preferably on Tuesdays, when seniors get an extra discount.

But I had dragged her to Loehmann’s, because I love it. She was humoring me, because she loved me. We did our usual routine—circle the store, amass a huge pile of clothes to try on, and then hit the dressing room. She’d mostly nod no, but occasionally some piece of clothing would get a thoughtful look and elicit a “Not bad.”

I tried this shirt on, and my grandmother couldn’t get on board. Especially after she looked at the price tag. A silk shirt from Theory, it was $100. At Loehmann’s. She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. I looked at myself in the mirror. I loved it. She grimaced. I bought it.

(As brief backstory, my grandmother was quite the fashion icon. It was not easy to go against her fashion advice, ever, because she was often right.)

My love for this shirt may have been instant, but it has also been lasting.  I have worn it on too many occasions to count (including on my 44th birthday, last week). It’s always just the right thing.

That’s what happens when you make decisions that speak to your heart, even if they draw raised eyebrows or wrinkled noses from loved ones—they work out better than you ever could have planned.

I know you’ve had an experience where you trusted yourself and made the decision that didn’t make sense to the people around you. It wasn’t just a one-off; you have access to that ability at all times.

If you’re facing a decision, here are some questions to ask yourself if the option that speaks to your heart isn’t immediately apparent:

  • Do I love it?
  • Do I feel excited, fizzy, and light? Or do I feel like I’m going to vomit or like there’s an elephant sitting on my chest?
  • When I envision myself doing (or wearing, or using) this thing, how do I look? How do I feel?

And here’s an important P.S.—asking yourself those questions AFTER you’ve given yourself the chance to get grounded and quiet is way helpful. That could be something formal like yoga, qigong, or meditation (I love ‘em all), but it could also be something way more casual—such as weeding, knitting, petting your dog, or even doing the dishes.

(Yes, I said doing the dishes! If you’re thinking there’s no way doing the dishes could ever make you feel calm, cool and collected, sign up for my no-cost teleclass, happening TOMORROW!)

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When you give your mind and body the opportunity to get on the same page, your anxious, fearful, bitchy thoughts quiet down so you can hear the connected and wise thoughts that are simply waiting for an opening in the conversation to make themselves heard. Promise. =)

What was going on that time you trusted yourself? What decision did you make? I would love to hear about it! Share your story in the comments section below.


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