It’s this completely annoying tendency to say we can do something we enjoy and makes us feel good after we get the ‘important’ stuff done.
You know the kind of stuff I’m talking about: The yoga session, the phone call to a girlfriend, the walk outside, the crossword puzzle, the cup of hot chocolate, the journaling, the creative project. The kind of thing that makes us feel hopeful, connected, comforted, inspired, energized, and happy.
And you know the reasoning that keeps us from it: We’ve got to earn it. We’ve got to make sure everything is taken care of first. We’ve got to anticipate everyone’s needs before they even have them and then fill them and then, maybe, we can think about what we want for a second or two.
If you constantly put what makes you happy on the back burner, the people in your life will follow your lead and continually forget about doing nice things for you. And you’ll find yourself staring at a sink full of dishes, silently hating your husband.
FACT: People decide how to treat you based on how you treat yourself.
So the question is, what are you gonna do about it?
Give yourself the experience of flipping the standard formula, and today, pick at least one thing that makes you feel fantastic, and do it before you do anything productive. That means reading your book before you do the dishes, booking your flight for vacation before you start replying to emails, doing a couple yoga poses before your kids go to bed.
And here’s what will happen. Everything you do after will feel so much easier, freer, in the flow. You won’t be rushing through crap you don’t care about so you can get to the stuff you really love. The people around you will get pulled in to your vibe like a tractor beam and start doing nice things for themselves and suggesting fun things for you to do together. And your kids will grow up knowing that it’s not only OK, but completely normal, to prioritize happiness.
For me, today’s frivolous activity was walking my daughter to school. It snowed last night, just a little, and we took our time to put our footsteps on every virgin walkway we could. It took twice as long to walk as it would have to drive. But we had our QT, we got exercise and fresh air, and we had fun. All before 9 am. When I got to my desk, I also kicked out the jams (while listening to U2’s The Joshua Tree, a favorite album I haven’t pulled out in years).
I’d love to hear what you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it.