This week on the podcast I’ve been talking about ways to work with judgment. And not the kind of judgment that you get when you go to court. Or that helps you determine what’s the best decision. (Like a parent might tell their kid, “use good judgment!). I’m talking about the hidden beliefs, the kind of judgment that is reflexive, subconscious, and typically, disparaging. As in, beliefs that a mom in a grocery store with a kid who’s screaming is a terrible parent.
I mean, on the one hand, judgment is natural. Judgment typically happens without us even realizing it. But once you’ve done it, it often feels, well, pretty righteous. It’s basically thinking, I am so much better than you. And it can feel good to feel better than someone else. On the other hand, it’s not a very generous, open-hearted, or kind thing to do. Also, it creates a division between you and whomever you’re judging. And division ultimately feels…pretty lonely.
Listen To The Podcast Here
Today’s big idea is that you can take the power away from some of your judgments by examining the hidden beliefs that lie underneath them. So, one of my old beliefs is that all rich people everywhere are jerks. So if I saw someone roll up into the Whole Foods parking lot in a fancy car, I would be judging them like crazy.
It wasn’t until I realized that these people I didn’t even know and who had done nothing to me were representations of hidden beliefs I had that I could let them go.
On Monday, your tiny assignment was to write down the things you judge
Think back to that list, or make one now if you skipped that episode (I totally forgive you), and then do today’s tiny assignment, which is to ask yourself, what hidden beliefs do I have that makes me judge this negatively?
There’s some really fascinating insights in there just waiting for you to notice them. Our hidden beliefs have a lot of sway over what we do and think, and if you haven’t gone looking for them, ever, or in a while, you’re in for some real a-ha moments.
Once you know what hidden beliefs are, you can consciously choose to create a new, more empowering and inspiring one.
For a little more guidance on this, go listen to episode 288, called You Spot It, You Either Got It Or You Don’t, and Wish You Did, which goes into figuring out why certain people drive you crazy, and it has a lot to do with unpacking the beliefs that are underneath your judgments.