How I Stopped Creating My Own Misery

get realThere was a time in my life when I had backed myself into quite a corner. I had just had my second (and last) baby, and I was miserable. Post-pregnancy hormone swings and sleepless nights aside, I was creating the vast majority of that misery all on my own.

How was I doing this? By writing checks with my heart that my mind couldn’t cash.

For example, I was dying for more sleep, but I was drinking 2-3 glasses of wine each night—which, for me, is a surefire recipe for middle-of-the-night insomnia. I longed for a full three months maternity leave, but I couldn’t say no to freelance writing gigs that landed in my inbox—so I worked and hated every minute of it. I was insistent that my husband share the load of household work and family care, but I wouldn’t allow him to soothe our kids when they got fussy—meaning I put him in a situation he couldn’t possibly succeed in and then picked fights when I perceived him to be slacking.

It was a real low point.

It was also the beginning of everything good that’s happened in the five years since, including our move out of New York City and up to Providence, RI where we can own our home, have a yard and see the stars (but still be able to walk to two Indian restaurants, a great sushi place, a juicebar and an ice cream shop), as well as my transition out of journalism and into coaching, writing books and speaking.

What happened in those five years is I learned how to get real. Meaning, I learned how to see and name what I want and then actually do the things that make them happen (and just as important, stop doing the things that kept those things at arm’s length). I practiced listening to my gut and, just as important, I learned to trust that information enough to act on it. I learned what was my responsibility and what I didn’t need to worry about anymore. And I learned how to show up, be seen, and stop hiding.

It hasn’t been easy, or without its bumps, but I can tell you this: I will never go back. Because it feels so good to have my heart, my mind, and my gut all on the same page!

So good, in fact, that I want you to be able to feel it too. I’m holding a free teleclass next week where I outline exactly how I got myself out of that hole, and I’d love you to join me.

Getting Real: 3 Authenticity Skills You Need to Create a Life That Suits You Down to Your Bones

Monday, May 18 at 12:00 ET

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I’m going to give a 30-minute talk on the most powerful ways to start hearing what’s true for you, so you can do the stuff that matters and stop stressing about the stuff that doesn’t. And then I’ll be answering as many questions as I can before the end of the hour. (I’ll also send out the recording of the call later that day so you can listen on your own if that time doesn’t work for you.)

I’ll pack in as much information as I can in to those 60 minutes so that if you identify with that low point I had five years ago, you can start making positive changes as soon as you hang up the phone.

If this is speaking to you, I hope to see you there!

And if it’s not, no pressure. Maybe you know someone who is getting tired of swimming in the same circle. If you do, please send them this blog along! It’s open to everyone. =)

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