Crawling Out of a Blue Funk

reduce anxiety with mindfulness meditationYou know that book project I’d been hinting about? The one that had me so excited but I didn’t want to fully disclose the details until the contract was signed?

It was to be a beginner’s guide to yoga, and I spent several weeks coming up with yoga practices to suit specific needs, doing those practices repeatedly to make sure they felt right, and mapping out what would go on every page of the book. Then, a month ago, the publisher canceled the contract. <Cue the sad trumpets.>

I know it’s not personal. And I know it’s not the end of the world. But when I got the news, all I could hear was the wind getting sucked out of my sails. After all, I spent the first few weeks of baby Teddy’s life working on that book, and I hadn’t lined up much other work for my return from maternity leave because I knew it would be keeping me busy.

Suddenly all I wanted to do with the big stack of yoga books I’d been using as reference materials was put them away and not look at them again for a long, long time. It has also zapped my yoga practice. For the first time in over 15 years, I have done zero yoga in the last few weeks. I. Just. Can’t. Do. It.

I admit, I’m adrift on the self-care sea. That’s why I haven’t written a Vegimental lately. How am I going to write something inspiring when I’m so uninspired myself? But I’ve come to realize that although I do strive to be inspiring, it’s also important to be real. So here’s your dose of reality: Every self-care practice has its peaks and valleys. This Vegimental finds me in a valley. A big one.

I know the gift this turn of events is leaving me with is time. Time to not be so caught up in daily deadlines that I can focus on bigger picture stuff—my family, yes, but also my vision for the next phase of my work-life reality. Because the visions I have for myself are in need of updating. I’ve changed, my family has changed, the world has changed, and now my vision has to change too.

I am learning—again, because we humans always have to keep remembering what we already know—that in order to get back on track to feeling dynamic and inspired, you have to start at the source—call it your spirit, intuition, guiding light, or feeling in your bones. For me, this means re-focusing on meditation. Sitting still and letting your thoughts arise and then keep floating up, up and away is a great way to see what kinds of hopes, dreams, and fears you’ve been burying and clear out anything old or stuck so a new reality can take hold. And it’s really no wonder I’m suffering from what a recent book calls Inspiration Deficit Disorder (haven’t read it yet, but the title totally speaks to me)–I’ve been neglecting my meditation practice.

Now that a physical yoga practice isn’t calling me to the mat, it’s time to get back in the meditation groove. I’m nervous about it though. I’m rusty. What if I’ve forgotten how to sit still? I could use a little support. So my question to you is: Who’s with me??

I know a heck of a lot more people who think about cultivating a meditation practice than those who actually have one. Have you always wanted to make meditation a part of your life? Or, did you used to meditate regularly but have gotten off track? I’m going to be updating about my travails on my page on Facebook. If you’d like to join me in finding your way (back) to the cushion, like the page and post your updates, successes, and stumbles. I’ll be posting info about different meditation techniques to try as well as reports on how I’m doing. If you’re on board, here’s your assignment:

Do some kind, any kind, of meditation for five minutes in the next 24 hours. Then come post your progress on the MsMindbody Facebook page. That’s it. We’ll start there and see where it takes us. As the Buddhist proverb says, “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.”

Take care and keep breathing,
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