We can try to power through this pandemic, but ultimately, there are so many things that are outside our control. This is a wild time. It’s not normal. We should not be holding ourselves to normal standards. Like, having a clean house. Or, being on top of our work. Or having our kids be totally on top of their school work. This is full catastrophe living at the moment, and acceptance is the secret weapon we each hold to cut ourselves some slack.
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Here in my house, I am not at all joking when I say i could walk around all day and just pick stuff up and tidy and put dishes in the dishwasher. Four people and a dog here 24/7 make quite a mess. Normally I like things to be tidy. But like I said, now is not normal. If I try to uphold that standard, it’s all I will do (and trust me I am getting the kids and husband to help out all the time).
This is just one slice of life where I need to modify my expectations and just accept that things are different right now.
Roll With It
You know, at the end of the day, really all we can do is roll with it as best we can. And that requires you to surrender. To just say, this is what’s happening now, and I’m not going to fight it anymore. I’m not going to feel bad that I’m not feeling different, or do things differently. And I’m not going to feel bad that the house isn’t as clean as I’d like, or that we haven’t been learning a new language or an instrument, or baking bread.
I’m just going to be like a piece of sea grass and go with the flow. When the next wave comes I’ll flatten out and then when it recedes I’ll bounce back. I’m not going to push. And I’m not going to pretend things are different. I’m just going to accept that this is a weird time and I’m doing the best I can.
Acceptance isn’t giving up. It’s not waving the white flag. It’s really just laying down your resistance. It means you get to stop putting effort into trying to change things you can’t change. Lord help me accept the things I cannot change. It’s not weak. It’s wise. It helps. Paradoxically, acceptance is powerful.
Daily Tiny Assignment
So that you get out of the space of feeling bad about all the things you aren’t doing or planning or accomplishing, here’s your tiny assignment:
Tell Yourself Something Kind
There’s a reason mindfulness and meditation teach us to detach from our thoughts—so many of them are self-directed and downright mean.
Break the cycle of negative self-talk by thinking of one nice, true thing about yourself, such as: I have a big heart. I’m doing my best and getting a little better every day. I am so lovable.
For the rest of the day, repeat it silently anytime you notice your thoughts veering in a self-critical direction, or you simply want a little lift.
Calm The Eff Down
Now that we are nearing the end of the Calm the EFf Down challenge, go and get yourself a handy printout with all the tiny assignments, so that no matter what happens, or how much longer we’re in quarantine, you’ll have a list of things to do to stay balanced right at your fingertips. Go get it for FREE!
