First, my husband slipped on ice and shattered his ankle the night of a blizzard. We spent a week learning he’d need surgery, plates, screws, the whole thing, and then waiting for the swelling to go down so he could be put back together. He’ll be off his feet for weeks, not in a shoe until April. There was a lot of head-wrapping-around to do. And meals to be made, dishes to be done, wee ones to put to bed. Plus shoveling. Lots of shoveling. With a couple of snow days, with the kids home from school, thrown in for good measure.
The next week, Scott had his surgery as an outpatient and came home to recover. Those were three of the most agonizing days of my life, I swear, as either his pain level was at a 9.5 or he was so whacked out on meds that he would pass out on the floor for hours at a time in a cold sweat. Plus, we got another foot of snow. A run to the pharmacy to pick up what-would-hopefully-be a magic pill was an epic journey, as all roads were reduced to one lane and people’s patience with snowy conditions had run out. It was 15 degrees out and I was reeking from stress sweat. Did I mention the two snow days?
And then this past week, we all got the stomach flu. Slowly, over the course of three days, like a horrible game of hot potato. Because my husband is incapacitated, I am the only caregiver. I was up two nights in a row, once with my own illness, once spooning my daughter on the bathroom floor. Need I tell you that we also got more snow and school was again canceled? And then there was the laundry.
You may be reading this and thinking, What does this have to do with a beautiful mindset?
Because your mindset rules all. And it is so easy to have a crappy mindset – whether it’s feeling sorry for yourself (my favorite go-to for many years decades), beating yourself up, goading yourself to try harder, denying yourself any activity or thought that feels good.
But when you can look for the opportunity in every situation; when you stop judging stuff as good or bad; when you trust that life is happening for you and not to you it makes all things possible. It makes challenging times…less challenging.
All of this is exactly why I’m teaching a teleclass next week on how to get your head in the game. Join me!
A Beautiful Mindset
A free 30-minute teleclass
Thursday, February 19 (Chinese New Year!)
2pm ET with a replay at 9:30pm ET
I am not here to tell you that I have had no moments of having my buttons pushed. I have shouted epithets while sitting in a traffic jam (“Mommy, you said a grown-up word!”). I have rolled my eyes behind my husband’s back. I have wished for the day to just freaking end, already.
I spent several nights in bed reading I Don’t Want To, I Don’t Feel Like It (one of my favorite books at the moment), clutching it as if it could save my life, just trying to remind myself that all the doubts and fears and irritations that were popping up were just my ego—that tenacious survival system that loves to say ‘I told you so.’
Here’s what else I’ve done, which, funnily enough are things that were on my list of things to get going in 2015:
- Enrolled the kids in doing more for themselves. (The morning I came down and saw them at the breakfast table eating bowls of cereal they had poured for themselves was a sweet moment indeed)
- Hired someone to come in and help do things like laundry, cooking, cleaning
- Reached out to neighbors to develop a carpooling strategy
- Let people help when they asked what they could do
- Asked people for help
Funny how the universe has a way of hearing what we say, isn’t it?
So if you’re going through a challenging time, or feeling stuck, or not sure what to do next, join me next Thursday and let’s get your mindset working for you instead of against you. Here are the details again: