3 Ways to Give and Get More Love


Dionne Warwick sang it in 1966 but it’s still every bit as true today: What the world needs now is love, sweet, love.

Aside from making you feel all warm and fuzzy, love is a force that compels us to be the best that we can be—kinder, more compassionate, more giving, and more forgiving. It also propels us to do things we might otherwise think were impossible—how many times have you done something for the sake of your kids that you might not ever have otherwise done? In short, it’s the driving force that helps us be better people. It’s powerful magic. And it’s always accessible to you.

But sometimes it doesn’t feel accessible. Maybe you’ve just gotten your heart broken. Or received bad news. Or are just really, really tired and cranky and the thought of being loving just makes you feel exhausted. Maybe you’ve gotten to the point where you’ve kind of given up on love, or forgotten about it. But it’s always there. Within you. And outside of you too, waiting to flow to you.

If you’ve been feeling like you—or the world—could personally go for a love infusion, below are three of my favorite tips from the “Show Love” section of How to Be a Better Person. May they help make you more openhearted and start feeling more of the love. You deserve it. =)

1. Give What You Want to Receive.
Let’s say you’re feeling unappreciated at home. You could get upset and focus on all the ways you’re taken for granted. But then you’d be compounding the problem. Instead, try showing more appreciation for yourself and for other people as well. It may seem counterintuitive, but you’ve got to give to get—and so often what we feel other people aren’t giving us, we aren’t giving ourselves. You’ll be surprised how much positive energy you get back when you send it out to others.

2. Witness Without Fixing.
When someone you care about is going through something painful, one of the most powerful things you can do is simply let her know you’re there, you care, and you’re willing to listen. In other words, bear witness to her struggles. It can be hard to resist the urge to want to fix things, but that’s really not your role—your job is to help the other person know she isn’t alone and support her if she needs it.

3. Recognize Your Own Hardheadedness.
 Stubbornness can come in handy if you’re trying to do something hard. But if you’re holding fast to something because you hate to be wrong, you’re likely to alienate people. This can be tough to do in the moment—but try to get some perspective on your stubbornness. If you have to have the last word, are motivated by proving other people wrong, or do what you want regardless of what other people think, you’re prioritizing hardheadedness over openheartedness. What trait do you want to lead with?

Want an even bigger love infusion? Here are some other pieces I’ve written about how to be more loving:

Reduce Stress at Family Holiday Gatherings

How I Stopped Hating My Husband, Revisited

Love People How They Are, Not How You Want Them to Be

How Long Are You Going to Hold On to That?

This Relationship Secret Saves My Sanity Every Time

How to Be a Better Person Is Getting Some Love!
It’s just so cool to hear from people who have gotten the book and found something in it that inspired them. Here’s what Janine R. posted about it on Facebook:

Love the book and the way you give practical, realistic small steps toward positivity and personal growth! This is a wonderful addition to anyone’s book list. Thank you with all my heart!

If you got the book and something in it spoke to you, please share your thoughts in a review!

Here’s the link to leave a review on Amazon.

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Reviews help so much—and they mean a lot to me, too. Thank you in advance!

From my heart to yours,


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